babydadTeenagers are annoying. They are stubborn, constantly whining and always making noises about what they want (and definitely cannot have). They have all kinds of aggravating habits that they are continually trying to justify.

These kids are an extreme nuisance. Fortunately, I know how to get rid of all these annoying habits and such. Some methods work excellently but mine get rid of every problem. You want to hear it, it is revolutionary?

OK, this is what you do. You bring your teenager to your local ExTeenimator office and we will bring them into a room. The room will be perfectly . . . well . . . perfect. The perfect food, temperature and everything. Your teenager will love this room and never want to leave.

Well, between 3 weeks to 6 months later we will tie your teenager down and apply one of three measures. In one operation we will stab the back of your teenager’s head and open up a big hole. Then we will take a vacuum and suck out his brains.

Another operation we can try is using giant vice-grips to rip your teen limb from limb. Don’t worry though, we will assemble him or her together afterward.

Another thing we can do is take a giant tube with a small opening. We will immerse your teen in water then suck him through the tube, ripping him or her into pieces.

Call us today to arrange an appointment!